Stop DOING For Your Children…Empower Them Instead!

As parents, most of us want our children to have a happy childhood and, way too often, that translates into ‘doing’ for our children so that they can experience life in as pleasant a way as possible…before they grow up and have to be so darn responsible.

The mistake parents make, however, is doing TOO much for their children. I have heard this theme too many times over the past few years…parents doing so much for their children that the kids grow up having no idea how to do anything for themselves.

THIS, in my opinion, is child abuse. One of the most debilitating things you can do as a parent is keep your children from facing scary situations, accomplishing small and great tasks, going beyond what they think they’re capable of on a regular basis, trying new things, learning that there is no real thing as failure…only feedback until you figure it out.

I coach adults all of the time who have no sense of being able to take care of themselves…and not just in the financial realm. I talk to women (and men) who can’t cook, don’t know how to plant a seed in the ground and help it grow, have’t a clue how to think through a problem to come up with myriad of viable solutions, pump gas or add oil to a car, and I could go on.

Perhaps it’s the fact that I was raised on a farm by parents who empowered us to do practically everything that I find other people’s inability to do so many things in such stark contrast to my own life. In so many ways, it saddens me because it keeps human beings from fully being able to manifest their dreams.

I raised my son the same way I was raised…in a way that created a human being cable of taking on the world.

I vividly remember a time when my son was around 8 years old. We had gone somewhere he really didn’t want to go on a Sunday morning.  When we were finished…I vaguely think it was church with a friend…he asked me nicely, “So, I went with you for your thing, can I have a donut?”

Well, donuts weren’t something we regularly indulged in as a family so that fact that he asked for this special dispensation touched me sweetly and I said, “Of course.”

I took him to our local donut shop in Corvallis, Oregon where we lived at the time and parked right in front of the doors that led into the cute little shop. I got into my wallet, took out two dollars and handed them to him. “Go get what you want and get a little surprise for me, too.” He looked at me in horror. “Aren’t you coming in with me?” he asked.

“Nope, you’re old enough and big enough to get your own donut so go on.” He hesitated a few seconds, thinking deeply on the choices…go alone and get the yummy thing he’d been craving all morning or stay in safety and miss out on the donut. It only took him a few seconds before I saw him take a deep breath, puff his chest really broad and open the car door to take on the challenge.

He was proud in that moment…and so was I. Not because he had accomplished the feat yet, but because he knew he could do it!

You see, it’s the knowing that you CAN do things that propels us forward towards our goals…having the confidence in our own abilities to take on a task, tackle a problem, learn a new skill, address a new challenge. THIS is what creates adults with true self-esteem.

I have spoken with people who have a grand desire to ‘teach’ self-esteem and, each time, I explain that self-esteem can not be taught. It can only be developed in a person by that person learning to do things and feeling empowered and able to do things on their own.

But back to the donut story…

There were double front doors to the donut shop. They were the kind of doors with nine little framed windows on the top of each door so that you could see inside. My son’s little muscles struggled  to open the right side door but evidently the door was a little on the heavy side. An elderly couple saw him trying his best and the man got up quickly and helped him open the door.

The man also glanced up at me and when I gave him a thumbs up, I could tell that he knew exactly what was going on.

I proudly and delightfully watched as my son went up to the counter, scanned the dozens of types of pastries and finally pointed to two different ones as the woman behind the counter gathered the donuts, took his two dollars and gave him back his change.

In that moment, my son grew in monumental ways that I can’t describe. It still brings tears to my eyes…thinking about how happy he was to have accomplished what would have been a simple task to me but was a HUGE task for him.

The same elderly gentleman helped him push open the door, smiled again at me having watched the entire transaction himself, and then watched as Andrew got back into the car, handed me the change and sat back to enjoy his compensation…the yummy, sweet, sticky, gooey combination we call a donut.

We sat for a few moments and shared what might of been a lost opportunity for growth in so many ways, wallowing in the bond that was created by my empowering him with the knowledge that he could do it himself.

Throughout his childhood, I ceased doing things FOR him whenever I sensed he was ready to do those things for himself. It was the best thing for him and the best thing for me because now, I have a 26 year old fully functioning, self-sufficient young man for a son who can do anything he sets his mind on.

There are many reason why parents don’t help their children learn to be adults. Many parents don’t have a clue how to do things for themselves yet (like in the area of money) and many parents are too busy to take the time and make the effort to let their children learn this way.

I challenge to really look at your role as a parent in terms of how well you’re doing in the area of raising a self-sufficient adult who can take care of himself/herself in every way possible. And if you aren’t able to do this, I encourage you to find support in this area. Your child’s future depends on this training.

So ask yourself these simple questions:

• What can I begin letting my child(ren) do today that they haven’t done yet but might be ready to do?
• What has my child been wanting to learn that “I” haven’t been ready to let him try? Can I set aside my own fears and empower him instead?
• What is my child afraid of and how can I help him over those fears?
• What examples am I setting for my child in the area of being responsible for myself and being willing to take risks in order to learn and grow each day?

Those are just a few simply inquiries you can do each day to see how you’re doing in terms of truly preparing your child for a future where he is ready to take on the world. And isn’t that what we, as parents, ultimately want?

Please use the comment form below to share your own personal parenting stories of triumph with your children!

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The Four Keys to Great Money Conversations with Your Children

All across the world, in media ranging from internet articles to news shows, people are asking the question, “What do I say to my kids about the economy?”

To answer this question, we need to understand why adults are generally uncomfortable talking about money to their children in the first place. It all started when THEY were young.

Picture this…you spend 17 years of your life interacting, and having conversations with, your family about every subject under, and over, the rainbow. Every subject but one that is…the subject of money rarely comes to the surface and when it does, there is emotion attached to the conversation in one way or another.

Then, when you reach the ripe old age of 30, someone suggests that you start investing some of the money you earn each month so that when you want to stop working at some point in your life, you’ll be able to because THAT money will then be your paycheck.

Wow. What a profoundly hardcore realization that is…shoots right through to your core. What? Why didn’t anyone suggest this to me earlier? I thought I was smart. I thought I was educated. I thought dear old mom and dad had taught me everything I needed to know to grow up happy, healthy and wise.

Ah, it was happy, healthy, WEALTHY and wise. You’re beginning to see the problem…and it’s a world-wide, emotionally charged issue that must be changed in order for human beings to begin having the conversation about world-wide peace.

If you understand the concept of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you realize that we can’t move past human beings’ primary drive to survive by providing for their basic necessities in life until we all learn how to handle and grow our money wisely.

Parent’s Duty to Prepare Children to Handle Money

Though studies show that many parents want to roll the responsibility of teaching their children about money onto the shoulders of teachers…it’s not fair, acceptable and especially not possible, for this to happen anytime soon.

There are a couple of other issues to the “It’s the school’s responsibility” argument we need to consider.

First, if you leave the job of creating financially savvy adults to your children’s teachers, you have to accept that they may not teach your child the things your child really needs to know.

Second, personal finances is something the majority of teachers don’t know anything about and are often upset about, so it might not be the best choice to have schools in charge of the financial education of our youth. After all, if you want your child to learn to swim, wouldn’t you hire a trained swimming instructor for the job?

Third, you’re forgetting that you decided to bring this child into the world and, regardless upon who’s shoulders you’d like to place this responsibility, it rests solely on your own.

Lastly, even if our schools did decide to take it on as an important subject, they are so mired in their own dysfunction, we can pretty much be assured it wouldn’t end up looking like what it needs to look like to be effective.

Bottom line…if you’re the parent, it’s up to you to prepare your children to handle money wisely as adults. And even more than that, it’s up to you to teach them how to build lives that are meaningful and satisfying – and those two things generally require quite a lot of skill with money.

Taking the “bill” by the horns

OK, so you know you have to do it…you have to have the money talk with your kids. WRONG. This is not a talk.

Talking to your kids

This is a conversation, and it’s a conversation that begins the first time your child sees a penny and asks, “What’s that?” You need to be prepared to answer the question in a way that propels that child toward a future where money is a tool to reach their dreams and help other people reach their dreams…and nothing more.

As parents, what we say and do with our own money, and how we expose our children to this wonderful resource, is critical to the end result.

Based on what we say and do with money, our children attach meaning to money that eventually dictates who they end up BEING with money.

Before we look at the four keys to having life-changing conversations with your kids about money, let’s get one thing straight…YOU do not have to be a financial genius to do this. You don’t even have to be good with money yourself. You simply have to make the commitment that you’re going to do your very best to prepare your children to handle money wisely.

The Four Keys to Great Money Conversations

Yes, there are only four things to remember when it comes to talking to your kids about money…

1. Keep emotion about of the conversation.
2. Ask, don’t tell.
3. Be willing to explore that magical milieu of money with your children.
4. Don’t be attached to the end result.

Keep The Emotion Out of the Picture

Having unemotional conversations about money is like not having popcorn when you go to the movies. They just seem to go together…but in reality, the popcorn is unhealthy, the salt cuts your mouth to shreds if you eat more than you should and you probably end up experiencing a little bit of tummy upset in the end. But oh…you just couldn’t seem to help yourself.

Having unemotional conversations about money is kinda like that. You try but it just creeps in and before you know it, your children are experiencing money on a level that they aren’t ready to deal with and that doesn’t help them learn to be wealthy in the long run.

The financial baggage children bring with them into adulthood is what keeps them from being savvy with it…keeps them from saving for and investing later…keeps them from ever being able to be fully responsible for their lives financially.

When you inadvertently, and unconsciously, attach emotion to money, you make it mean more than it is. It’s just a tool, a medium of exchange…it’s how we trade our time and energy for something else we need.

But humans have, from the beginning of time it seems, gone out of their way to attach extraneous meaning to the green stuff we need to live each day. We’ve grown up thinking that money means…

• Something about who we are as a person.
• Whether we’re good enough, lovable enough or worthy enough to have money.
• That our self-worth is tied to our net-worth.
• That we’re better than, smarter than, prettier than people who have less money.
• That money…specifically how much we have or don’t have…is a cause for such extreme stress that we make ourselves sick over it.
• And lastly, that the ‘stuff’ money can buy us will in some way bring us happiness.

So how, then, DO you talk to your kids? You do so with just the facts. Facts like…

• It takes this much money to live this way and that much money to live that way.
• When we get older, we’re probably not going to want to work full-time anymore (except perhaps volunteering and giving back) so we have to prepare for that day by saving and investing, i.e., putting our money to work for us so it grows.
• If you want to have money in your life, you’re going to have to work for it. Notice that it doesn’t say work HARD for it…it just says WORK for it. Working hard is a judgment and has emotion attached to it. Though this may be your experience, it’s not a fact.
• This is a credit card. This is how it works. This is what you have to pay when you don’t pay it off every month. This is what that money would be worth if you weren’t paying it in interest every month.

Remember…facts. Nothing more.

The biggest challenge here for you, the parent, is that you’re still, more than likely, dealing with your own financial baggage.  All the more reason to immerse yourself in how to escape your own money quagmire at the same time. Everyone wins this way.

Note: If you’re ready to extract yourself from your own money past, please read, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. It’s the most profoundly effective book on understanding what he calls your ‘financial thermostat’ on the market. He also has a three-day workshop called The Millionaire Mind Intensive that will knock the socks off your currently warped financial persona so you can move forward financially in ways you never dreamed.

Ask, Don’t Tell

This is one of the key ingredients in effective, and enjoyable, education. Human beings generally don’t do well when they are told how things are, told what they need to be doing or told how things will be if they don’t do this or that.

Kids especially don’t do well because their entire future is based upon learning to do things their own way. The quest toward becoming an individual permeates every aspect of their lives and the topic of money is not immune to this process.

So instead of always telling (lecturing), ask questions…and ask them often. When the topic of money comes up for whatever reason, ask your children:

• What they think about the situation or idea.
• What they learned from the experience, be it personally involved or watching someone else in a certain situation.
• How they would have handled it.
• What emotions they might have experienced (yes, this is the time to bring in emotion but their emotions, not yours).
• How a certain situation might have caused them to create certain thoughts, beliefs or attitudes about money and finances. Explore how those thoughts, beliefs or attitudes that are supportive or unsupportive in terms of growing up to be money savvy adults. (p.s. this is also a great exercise for you!)

Once you experience how much easier it is to ‘talk’ to your children by asking questions, you’ll be more comfortable bringing up practically any subject you think pertinent to their futures.

Let Financial Education Be A Family Affair

Quite often we think we have to be an expert at something before we can teach it to others. Our kids, however, don’t necessarily buy into this belief.

Because children are often starving for time with their parents, suggesting that you learn about money and investing as a family might bring them the togetherness they crave and need.

Here are just a few activities you can do together, either as a family or with just one child at a time:

• Go to a workshop specifically designed to teach children about money and volunteer to help at the event (Camp Millionaire is a great place to start:-).
• Visit the library and find financial books (they exist for all ages) that your child finds interesting. Read them together.
• Do research on the internet and read articles you find on the stock market, investing in real estate, building businesses…especially online businesses.
• If you take the paper or a financial magazine, read the financial sections together and, if you don’t understand a certain word or concept, look it up together.
• Play financial games like Monopoly, Cash Flow for Kids, Cash Flow 101 (adult version which older kids love).
• Here’s an interesting idea: pay your older children to read financial books tailored specifically for them and have them present the information in the book to you in either written form (book report), or better yet, have the whole family turn the information into a play and present it to the neighborhood or your church!
• Take your children to appointments with your CPA or attorney or business consultant. Let them see you in action and allow them to ask questions.
• Help your child find mentors in areas of money they find interesting. They can then bring information home and share it with the whole family.

Opportunities abound when it comes to learning about money…making it, saving it, investing it, using it to help others. Just open your eyes and you’ll see money and personal finance educational opportunities everywhere.

Don’t Be Attached To The Result

This may be the most difficult aspect of educating your children about money. It’s completely possible that your children, though being raised by exactly the same parents with the same parenting philosophy, skills, goals, etc., will grow up to have completely different ways of being with money. This is because there’s more at play here than what you bring to the table as a parent.

There are inherent money personalities and unpredictable individual experiences and influences (media, teachers, classes, friends, cultures, generations, technology) that shape how our children ‘do money’ as adults.

When we have expectations of how something is going to turn out, we often unknowingly foist those expectations on others and are then critical, judgmental, cynical, angry or worse, when things don’t turn out as we planned. This is not an environment that fosters the learning, exploring and sharing of financial tools, skills and information.

The only thing you can do, is do your best and accept that they will ultimately choose to be, consciously or unconsciously, the type of person they grow into and there’s nothing you can do to change much of that.

Think of it this way…see your child’s brain as a computer. You spend 17 years installing programs into that brain that you hope will allow it to function well in the future. Only thing is…you can’t control the environment the computer functions in, the programs others install and their compatibility with the programs you’ve installed, the power to utilize the programs or the ability of the programs to adapt to new technology and information as time goes by.

So let’s review the four keys. Your job as the parent, is simply do your best to:

1. Keep the emotion out of the money conversations with your kids (and everyone else for that matter.
2. Ask your children tons of questions about money while they’re young so they can explore the ideas and experiences they and others have, and then learn from those experiences.
3. Turn learning about money into a family affair.
4. And finally, let go of the result. Know you did your best and let any expectations of how your children will handle money as an adult will vanish into the ethers.

There you have it…the recipe for great financial conversations with your children. Regardless of what the economy is doing ‘out there’, inside your own home, with your own children, you can make money a positive, interesting topic for all.

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Recession Proof YOUR Kids: Empower Them to Thrive in Any Economy

(Note: if you’d rather listen this than read it, click here.)

If you have kids, you more than likely want to make sure they grow up knowing what to do with money.

And you’d probably prefer that they  know what to do THRIVE financially and not just SURVIVE tough economic times like we’re having now. (My son Andrew, at 26 years old, is happily living on his own, in his own apartment with a great job, no debt, a nice used car he bought himself and saving money…makes his mother proud.)

One fact about the economy that many people don’t realize is that more millionaires are made during a DOWN economic cycle than during an UP economic cycle. And the people who are thriving are the ones who understand how the economy and money work together. These people spot opportunities at every turn, have cash to take advantage of these opportunities and get rich doing so.

After reading this article, you’ll have some simple, but not necessarily always easy, things you can do to recession proof YOUR kids. Isn’t growing happy, healthy, wealthy adults who do good in the world worth whatever it takes?

Glad you think so. And since, as is often said…time is money, so let’s get going.

The Financially Savvy Adult Parenting Plan

How many of you have a plan to make sure your kids get the very best in life there is to offer?

How many of you realize that whatever they choose to do in life, they’re probably going to need a little money to create it?

Responsibility…the end result.

Years ago, I was a personal trainer and fitness instructor. Back then I realized that the way I taught and approached training my clients was with the philosophy that it wasn’t my job to just lead them through an aerobic class or walk them through a workout with weights. It was my purpose, which became my passion, to empower them to take care of themselves in a larger, more expressive way; without the club and without me at their side counting reps.

I have always enjoyed inspiring people to think differently about things. First fitness and nutrition and now money, personal finance, investing, and living in general. I love it when something I teach or say causes someone else to stop, stumble in their tracks and have thoughts that completely turn their world into a more joyous place to live. Gives me goosepimples just thinking about it!

At Creative Wealth, we’ve been teaching kids, teens and adults about money and investing since 2002 and we approach financial literacy the exact same way. When we can empower someone to take better care of themselves, and others, it just seems like the world is a better place for all of us.

Our mission statement…”Empowering people to take care of themselves and the world.” might also be a great mission that you could embrace while raising your children.

This article is for those of you who don’t have a plan or have a plan but don’t know where to start.

The Money Game™

Winning The Money Game

Before we talk about how you can empower YOUR children, imagine this scenario..

Your child comes to you one day and says, “Mom, Dad, I want to grow up and be a major league ball player.” You say, “Wow, that’s cool. Good for you.” Then you go back to doing what you were doing.

Your child taps you on the shoulder and asks, “Um, would it be possible for you to get me a ball so I could learn how to throw it?” You say, “Maybe later.”

He says, “Well, how about a glove and a bat so I can learn to catch the ball and hit the ball?” You respond, “Nah, I don’t think so.” He’s a bit frustrated at this point and asks, “OK, but will you at least teach me the rules?”

You say, “Oh, you can learn the rules later.” Now he is angry, fuming inside and feels completely stuck.

His face turns bright red, he inhales threw his nose like a bull and yells, “But how am I ever going to become a great ball player and win the game, if I don’t have a ball, a bat or a glove to practice with and I don’t know the rules?”

This is what parents do, most unknowingly, to their children in regard to money. We raise them, help them survive to age 18 (where we then call them ADULTS) and we send them out into THEIR show, unprepared to play or win their own person Money Game.

We rarely give them the EQUIPMENT they need to practice with, the TIME to practice or the RULES they need to win THE MONEY GAME.

A little story…

When I was little girl, the main thing I remember learning about The Money Game was that MEN weren’t very good at it. I remember my mom always getting mad at my dad when he bought stuff she didn’t think we needed.

I realized when I was in my 20’s that the reason she loved garage sales was because it allowed her to have many of the things she wanted but couldn’t afford to pay for full price for.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30’s that I figured out that the only reason I didn’t know about money, and have a bunch saved up, was that now one had taught me about it.

I remember about that time, calling my mother and asking her WHY I didn’t know what to do with money. After all, I was a straight A student all through high school and college. How did I not learn about MONEY?

When I called her, after a long, silent pause, she simply said, “Honey, how could I teach you something I didn’t know myself?”

I was in shock and when I recovered, I set about to teach myself about this green stuff we need to live our lives and experience all that life has to offer. Then, I decided I didn’t want other children the same way I did…not knowing about money. That was what led to the creation of the original Money Camp for Kids and what is now called Camp Millionaire.

Lessons from Parents

While teaching our camps over the years, I found that most parents think it’s important that their children learn how to use money while they are young.

Only problem with this situation is that many parents don’t realize it’s up the THEM to teach their kids about money because for the most part, they just aren’t going to learn this critical life-skill in school.

They MAY learn a bit about budgets or writing checks, but they probably won’t learn about investing in assets and passive income and avoiding debt, i.e., all the really important stuff.

The saddest thing is that they rarely learn how to start businesses…but I’ll get to that point in a bit.

You see, after years of teaching kids about money, it became clear to me that kids needed to have some very specific experiences and learn a few very specific tools in order to grow up financially savvy.

And over the years, I distilled this stuff down into three simple things that I now call The Three Keys to Raising Money Savvy Adults. This information is so important, I give it away on my homepage as a report for anyone who wants it.

I share these three things often because they are the backbone for creating financially literate human beings. I want to share these three keys with you again so you can make sure your own kids get the experiences and tools they need to grow up financially savvy!

So let’s get right to those three keys!

Key Number One is illustrated by one of my favorite quotes from the wonderful Albert Einstein. He once said, “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another; it is the only means.”

Many of you have probably heard the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Lots of parents think that the “Do As I Say” method of parenting works, but we all know that it doesn’t.

You see, your children are constantly learning from you, and others in their world, by example and they’re learning by example in three distinct ways:

1. By what they SEE you, and others, doing with money.
2. By what they HEAR you, and others, saying about money.
3. And by the experiences they have with money as a child.

Much of what they learn shows up in their belief systems later in life and literally controls their thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about money at an unconscious level. And many of those thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about money aren’t supportive in the leastest bit.

You might not think that a little fight here or there about money in front of your child is a big deal. But what if that child decides that having money leads to disharmony or causes people to fight and not love each other anymore. In many ways, money can end up being a very negative substance when they grow up. This is NOT the way you raise financially savvy adults.

Discussing all of the ramifications of what you may be teaching your children through your examples is covered in great detail in The Ultimate Allowance book that I wrote. For now, just know that you might want to be mindful of what your children are seeing, hearing and experiencing around money.

So, the first key is to set the very best example you can.

Key Number Two has to do with getting your kids used to the idea that money is a natural part of life and it’s something they’re going to have to learn to do well if they want to do well in life.

In order to do this, I suggest you start talking to your kids about all aspects of money and get them involved with the family’s finances as young as possible so they know what the financial aspects of life look like.

I’ve read that parents often say they’d rather talk to their kids about sex and drugs than money.

This is because, as human beings, we tend to make money mean more that it really means. In all of our programs, we teach the idea that money is simply a tool to reach your dreams and help others reach theirs.

For some reason, we make money mean something about us. We equate it to our success, our popularity, our happiness. We equate our self-worth with our net-worth, but in truth, it doesn’t mean any of those things.

Money buys freedom and experiences and nothing more.

So, what exactly does it look like to involve your kids in the family’s finances? Here are some ideas…

• Let them help you pay bills by writing checks and paying bills online.
• Go over credit card statements with them. Teach them how to read the statements and help them understand about charges, interest and late fees.
• If you have a financial advisor, take them with you.
• If you have an insurance person, let them sit in on the meetings.
• If you actively plan the family’s finances with a budget or some other planning system, let the kids help and see what it actually entrails to run the entire household.

The important thing is to let your kids see you dealing with all the different financial aspects of life so they know what being responsible with money looks like. This way it’s not such a surprise when they move out on their own with just a backpack and a checkbook and their entire life in front of them!

Key Number Three is to give your children the opportunity to practice with money as often as possible while they are young, so they get really good with it by the time they move out. This way they will move out and stay out, except for visiting you to do their laundry, of course!

The next question is usually…

HOW do I give my child the opportunity to practice with money? I’m so glad you asked!

The fact is…if you want them to practice with money, they have to have money in their hands on a regular basis. The key, however, is that it’s critical that they have guidance from you in how to use that money wisely.

What I have realized over the years is that kids who get a lot of practice with money are much better with it than kids who don’t. And, kids would rather spend YOUR money than THEIR money so putting them in charge of their own money is  critical step.

Studies have shown that it takes as little as ten hours of financial education to influence a child’s financial decisions later in life. All things being equal, ten hours doesn’t seem like much of a commitment over a period of 18 years. The critical piece to the financial literacy puzzle, however, is the practice they get must have with money.

So here’s a question…aren’t you spending a large chuck on money on your kids already…just to raise them? I thought so.

To give them the practice they need, simply take a portion of this money and run it THROUGH them instead. Remember, I said it was simple; I did not say it would be easy.

Financial practice leads to financial skill

The idea is to start small, when the child is young, by giving him or her the responsibility to start paying for the little things, like hair accessories or socks or pencils and paper for school.

As your child gets older, you keep adding onto to this amount, so that by the time your child is 18, he or she is 100% in charge of everything in life that involves money!

This is where I want to throw in the piece about growing children’s natural entrepreneurial talents, i.e., introducing them to the wonderful world of owning their own businesses and calling their own shots in life.

As your children grow up, encourage them to MAKE extra money by creating little businesses where they will learn to buy and sell products or services to others by offering solutions that solve people’s problem. Teach them the difference between ‘earning’ money (trading their time and energy for it) vs. ‘making’ money (creating it themselves by being an entrepreneur). It’s the greatest of all money lessons you can provide for your children.

So let’s review the three keys…

First, set the best example you can for your child. If you don’t understand how money works, learn with your child. Kids love learning stuff right along with their parents. Admit that you never learned about money while you were young and do your best not to feel embarrassed or ashamed. There are more adults who didn’t learn about money than did learn when they were young…constantly remind yourself you’re not alone in this situation. Use this time to empower the entire family.

Shameless plug…if you have kids who still color (I still color, don’t you?), order our new Financial Wisdom Coloring Book for Kids and Parents. It’s a great way to start exposing your kids to the world of money and it teaches you right along with them if you need to learn the basics. (If I didn’t think it was the best tool for your kids I wouldn’t suggest it;-)

Second, talk to your kids about money every chance you get. Bring them into the family finances. Let them help you with YOUR money and let them see that it’s just another aspect of life they have to know and get good at… and please remember to explain why they must know this stuff.

Better yet, ASK them why it might be a great idea to understand how money works and how to use it wisely. Ask, don’t tell is one of the best teaching techniques on the face of the planet so use it often!

Third, whatever you do, give them as many opportunities as you can with money so they get plenty of practice with before they move out. And not just ’spending’ practice. They need practice making decisions, purchasing wisely, donating and doing good with money, saving to buy something at a later date, investing and watching their money accumulate and grow.

Your kids need to be given the tools they need and have a huge field to get plenty of practice on if you want them to Win The Money Game when they grow up.

What are you waiting for? You have financially savvy adults to raise. Get out there and help them practice!

As always…just something to think about.

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Money Avatar…Which One Do YOU Choose?

This past weekend, I had the privilege of seeing AVATAR in 3D at an IMAX theater. What a gift that was and I recommend it. I’ve heard stories of people struggling after seeing this film but truthfully, it is just a classic tale in so many ways. What makes it so beautiful is the environment that was created and the way the Pandorians (they lived on Pandora) live and interact with each other and with their environment (plants and animals).

The movie depicted human beings inhabiting their own ‘Avatar being’, in other words, when the humans connected on a brain level to their own Avatar beings, they BECAME that being and sensed everything their Avatar was sensing, experiencing the world as if they were that way.

The definition of an Avatar: the manifestation of a divine being into real life; the personification of a familiar idea. In our Creative Wealth programs we suggest that everyone has a ‘money personality’, i.e., a way of being around, and with, money. The idea of a Money Avatar is a little different.

The idea of a Money Avatar revolves around us first understanding our own natural tendency toward a certain money personality. In our programs, we use Olivia Mellan’s work for our four basic money personalities: Spender, Saver, Avoider and Monk. There a several more that she discusses in her articles and books, but these four describe the bulk of our money behaviors and actions.

Your Money Avatar

A Money Avatar, however, is who we WISH we could be. If we’re a naturally born spender, we might wish we had a little bit of the saver in us. If we’re a saver, we might wish we were a little bit more of a spender. If we are a money monk or an avoider, we may ache to wake up one day as a saver. The challenge is, how do we go from what seems to be the money personality we’re hard-wired to live into, and move into a completely different, and more financially supportive role such as a saver and investor?

Here are some steps you might take if you’re currently inhabiting a financial role or avatar that isn’t serving you and you’d rather play a different role:

1. Take some time to deeply understand your current tendency; the money personality that is the predominant driver in your behavior, choices and habits. Do some research, ask yourself where the driver comes from and how the driver took up permanent residence in your being. You must understand both the conscious and subconscious aspects to this current Avatar before you can choose an Avatar that is more supportive of your goals.
2. Next, study the type of Avatar you want to become. Study rich people, financially free individuals who live the way you’d like to live. And don’t make stuff up about rich people. Read biographies about successful people. Watch movies about their lives. A great way to learn about people with money is to take them to lunch! Ask them how they got where they are, what it took, what they learned, what their biggest lessons were. Don’t talk about you. You want to learn about them. Remember, it’s not what you already know; it’s what you’re open to learning that will move you from one Avatar to another.
3. Now, start taking little bits about what you learn and start incorporating those bits into who you already are. Shifts don’t happen overnight. You became who you are over time. You’ll become who you want to be over time as well. It’s important to incorporate new habits, behaviors and choices slowly so they can seep into your being.

If you do these three steps, you will be surprised at how quickly you’ll wake up living into your new Money Avatar.

“I see you” in there! Go for it.

Just something to think about.

(and tell me what you thought of the movie!)

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Why Financial Literacy Doesn’t Work (and how to fix this)

In her Time Magazine article, How to Teach Kids About Money (Jan. 12, 2010) which isn’t really what the article was about to begin with), Barbara Kiviat talks about the fact that teaching financial literacy to kids doesn’t work and why. Lewis Mandell, who evidently has ‘studied’ financial literacy programs for 15 years, says, “We need to figure out how to do this the right way.”

Hello! There is a right way and I’ve been doing it for years. Want to know why financial literacy programs don’t work? I’ll tell you…because they are BORING and IRRELEVANT to the kids who are being forced to sit through them.

You see, most education is taught using auditory methodology, i.e., the teachers attempt to teach by ‘talking’ to students who are supposed to be sitting in their desks paying attention. The main problem with this situation is that less than 11% of us learn by listening. We learn primarily by seeing and by doing which is commonly referred to in Accelerated Learning as Visual and Kinesthetic.

When you examine how the majority of financial literacy programs and curriculums are presented to kids and teens, it is taught AT them; not presented in fun or entertaining and hardly ever is it taught through kinesthetic methods. It is not relevant to them yet and they are simply bored with the whole idea. Not a good context to teach what is perhaps the most ‘valuable’ information and life-skill they need to succeed in life.

So to ANSWER the question that Barbara asks in her headline, How to teach kids about money, here’s what you do…

First, and foremost, you stop talking about it and have kids experience what it feels like to get paid, have taxes taken out of their paychecks before they receive them, make them pay of adult expenses and stage events like car crashes that eat up their savings (the lesson: never let your account get to zero!).

Children must practice ‘paying themselves first’ so that they can experience the thrill of investing in their first asset which then pays them passive income (money they don’t have to trade their time and energy for) for as long as the asset is viable. After all, financial freedom does not come from having a steady paycheck or saving; financial freedom is the result of having enough assets paying you more than enough money to live the lifestyle you want for as long as you want.

Have teens experience what it’s like to invest in real estate, a business and the stock market and know that sometimes these ‘three pillars of wealth’ make you money and sometimes they doesn’t. It’s just part of being able to pave your own way in life so you never have to work for another human being unless you want to.

Our current education systems, for the most part, is busy creating mediocre-quality employees and soldiers who do as they are told and yet we continue to hear the outcry of, “We must create more jobs!”  It’s entrepreneurs who are empowered with the knowledge and skill to go for it, be their own bosses, think outside of the box that are going to create all those jobs; not the 22-year old college graduate who was been brainwashed by an ignorant society that still believes that college is ‘the’ way to a successful life instead of simply ‘a’ way.

Next, you put children and teens in charge of a percentage of the money that is used to raise them. Instead of parents spending money ON their children, they a portion of that money THROUGH them. This way they get plenty of financial practice before they move out and their financial choices really matter. Let’s face it, no practice, no skill and we all know where no financial skill has gotten us as a nation.

Next, as adults, we must recognize the power of practicing what we preach and start setting the best financial responsible example we can for our children. We can not tell them to do one thing while do another. Our largest role model, the federal government (an Uncle at that) regularly spends more money than it brings in and that speaks volumes about whether or not you can live life living on more than you make. If it’s OK for Uncle Sam, why isn’t it OK for our kids as well?

Lastly, we stop making money mean something about who we are as human beings. Money doesn’t make us smarter or better or thinner or more worthy. Money simply makes us more of what we already are.

The Bottom line…the sooner we teach our children that money is simply a tool to reach their dreams AND we start modeling the habits, choices and behavior that leads to financial security, the sooner we can go from a society that is financially stressed and in debt to a culture that is financially responsible and secure.

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Earn to Learn: Paying Your Teen to Learn About Money

When that magical 13th birthday happens and your ‘child’ transforms into a ‘teen’, everything seems to change. At least, we make up that it does. Nothing changes, however, except the continual growing up that our children (hopefully) inevitably do.

One this is for sure though. The earlier you expose them to information (any information), the quicker they learn it AND the easier it is for them to accept that information as matter of fact. Kinda like brushing their teeth!

Money, and learning to make, use and invest it wisely, is one of those subjects that are best taught early but, because so many parents (for so many reasons) do not know how to or just don’t expose their children to the financial basics they need, sometimes you have to take a different route to the same goal.

The goal:  being financially savvy adults.

The route: here’s ONE suggestion:

PAY YOUR CHILDREN TO READ FINANCIAL BOOKS!

Yup, you read that right and I’ve talked about this before. Most children love money because they understand that it buys stuff, ‘piddlyjunk’ to be specific (stuff that either goes DOWN in value or has NO value once purchased). What they don’t get intrinsically, unless it’s modeled for them, are the saving and investing pieces.

So if you’ve realized you haven’t done the best job in the financial parenting department, it’s time to get on the ball. Go buy (or check out from the library) a few financial books. Here are a few I always recommend:

• Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker
• Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Rich Dad, Poor Dad for Teens by Robert Kiyosaki
• The New Totally Awesome Money Books for Kids by Arthur Bochner, Rose Bochner, and Adriane G. Berg (available on Amazon)

Once you have a book or two ready (so they can choose), here’s what you do.

First, open up the conversation by relating money to something they like. These are called Enrolling Questions and I talk about them in great detail in The Ultimate Allowance. They sound like, “So, how would you like to learn how to have enough money to always have what you need and want?” or “I know you like to have a lot of freedom. Learning how to have more than enough money in your life is the key to that freedom. Would you like to learn how?” Stuff like that. The point is to get them interested.

Next, let him/her know that you have an opportunity to learn and earn. Explain that you’re going to supply a number of money books (it’s great if YOU read them first by the way so you know what’s in them) and for every book they read, you’ll pay them _______. I suggest at least $25 (it’s worth it!) but you can modify to fit your budget. Once they finish the book, they have to do a three page (at least) report on the basic information in the book and then, (here’s my favorite part) have an open conversation with you about how they can apply the information to their lives now and in the future.

Now here’s where it gets challenging on your part. DO NOT start preaching to them or telling them, “If only I had ______ (you fill in the blank).” You want them to be open to having these amazing conversations about money with you. If they ask about your experience or you want to share, ASK if they want to hear about it first.

One of the basic premises behind Accelerated Learning (how we teach all of our programs) is “Ask, Don’t Tell.” In other words, assume they know the answer already and just explore what they know before you go trying to tell them anything. YOU don’t like to be told stuff. Neither do your kids.

So that’s it. Pick a book. Introduce the opportunity. Let them read, do a book report and have a great conversation and then pay ‘em. I promise you it will be one of the best investment decisions you ever make.

Just something to think about.

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Be Do Have: The Power of Self-Hypnosis

This blog post is about how one small thing can dramatically alter who it is you’re BEING in the world. If you’ve ever realized that you’re struggling with changing some little (or big) aspect of your being, then reading this article may give you another powerful tool to help you change whatever it is you want to change.

Though I deal with people and financial issues, this might seem like a strange letter to a former coach. It’s about alcohol but it could easily apply to the financial education arena I work in. I don’t have a problem with alcohol, or an issue with it in any way. However, an experience I had about 4 months ago with hypnosis, gave me new tools to work with when I coach clients who are working on learning about money and creating different lives for themselves.

This is a letter I sent to a man named Harlan Kilstein who is the creator of a visualization that I listen to frequently. His work is profound and at the end of the post, I’ll provide you with a link to his information.

Here’s what I sent him about my experience with his work…

_______________

Dear Harlan,

So, all my life I have been only slightly, a social drinker. I would occasionally have a glass of wine or two with a friend or at a party, or drink a nice cold beer on a summer, sunny day. I can count on three fingers (at age 51) how many times I’ve drank too much. Only problem with drinking is that for me, for whatever reason, I have never handled the two days drinking even a little bit of alcohol.

I know you’re wondering where I’m going with this…just continue reading…

Along came menopause and again, for whatever reason, the two days after having a drink became even more terrible for me. I didn’t handle stress well, was irritable, shaky, my workouts suffered and my blood sugar was all screwed up. I toyed with becoming a nondrinker but really still enjoyed the occasional glass of wine with my girl friends or just sipping a nice glass of pinot while cooking a yummy dinner. I just dealt with it knowing full well when I chose to have a drink or two that it would be two days before I felt normal again.

Then, along came your visualization that you gave us about ‘the beach’. I’m not sure how or where, but I know in that recording there is something about choosing something you’d like to change. I’ve only heard it once (it puts me to sleep most nights and you should visit the beach I go to!) consciously but evidently it only took once to hear it in the right space to change everything.

I distinctly recall thinking, I’d really like to be someone that doesn’t drink at all (keeping in mind I rarely drank in the first place). Well, you know, I haven’t had a drink since. When I’m with people who drink, it’s just natural to say, “I don’t drink.” and it’s like it’s always been that way. But the amazing sign of how deeply that change took place reared it’s head Sunday morning when I went next door to visit my girlfriend and just say hi for a few minutes. She was drinking OJ which looked yummy and I asked her for a sip (we do that). She handed it to me (knowing full well that I no longer drank) and then said, “I has alcohol in it.” What happened next was a complete shock. My entire body recoiled like that glass was a snake and I handed it back to her as quickly as I had taken it to her. There was no part of my being that wanted anything to do with that glass with alcohol in it.

If anyone is even remotely skeptical of your hypnosis processes and question whether they work or not, they need not think twice. They do! Even when you have no idea what you want them to do at the time.

Just thought you might like to know how your work affects people.

Thanks, Elisabeth (former coaching client).

________________________

To learn more about his profoundly life-altering products, visit his website at: http://tinyurl.com/hypnoticsecrets and yes, it is an affiliate link which means that if you purchase one of his product, I will receive a small thank you from him. I promise you his stuff is worth it’s weight in gold and if you’ve been trying to change some aspect of yourself, his work will propel you toward your goals in a huge way.

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Taming The Financial Storm Inside Us

The first thing to know, and own, is that we are all in charge of making everything up and we choose, either consciously or subconsciously, the exact path we experience in life.

The challenge is that we often don’t realize we’ve chosen something until we’re almost ‘there’ and then we realize we don’t WANT to go ‘there.’

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So it’s a brand new year…

It’s only January 6th and my decision to be fully conscious and aware of each day is already beginning to have little tiny frayed edges…but I think I’ve caught it in time to mend it soundly.

It seems that no matter what we resolve to do differently, life just challenges us. “Right, show me you can do this differently. I’ll believe it when I see it.” (That’s life talking to you.)

The fact is, we have to know our core WHY before we can join life in its own game and do exactly what we want, regardless of what life appears to be throwing at us.

I don’t believe that we are at the mercy of anything, except ourselves. I believe that we have the power to live our lives anyway we wish, anywhere we wish, with anyone we wish. I also believe that often our definitions of what that must look like gets in our way.

Let’s take for example our desire to be financially free. What does that mean to us? Well, at first, it might mean not working. Examined further, it might mean doing what we want with our time each day. A little deeper, it might mean that we want to be doing something meaningful (to us) each day.

And still, underneath it all, we may simply want to be purposeful in some way so as to justify our very existence on a day to day basis.

How do you transfer all of THAT into a personal core WHY which can then drive you anywhere you want to go? Well, that’s the biggest question of them all because there are other considerations and those considerations are of a very personal nature.

One of my own biggest considerations (or constraints, depending on how I look at it) is the question I ask myself, and others, often. The question is simply, “At what cost?”

At what cost, and to whom, would it mean to ‘do whatever it takes’ to accomplish whatever it is to reach whatever goal you’re talking about? What is the cost to your family, your friends, your health, the community, your dog and cat who simply want your hand scratching their backs on a regular basis?

The happiest people I know are the people who love living a simple life. This doesn’t mean they live cheaply or that they don’t have money. It means they don’t have a bunch of real estate to worry about (sometimes they don’t even own the house they live in…much easier to get up and move this way), they don’t have a bunch of furniture or piddlyjunk laying around their houses (much easier to breathe and move through the day this way), they don’t have a ton of stuff to do, commitments to keep, meetings to attend, emails to answer, etc., etc., etc.

The older I get, the simpler I want things. I continue to look around my home and get rid of things that don’t serve me. Books are being donated, clothing discarded if I don’t love it (and it’s not purple!), kitchen utensils are being regifted and a whole lot more.

And it feels good. It’s easier to move about my planet here in Elisabeth Land (my boyfriend calls his place Club Steve and I’ve always found much delight in that!). It’s a constant exploration into ‘what exactly do I want around me to be comfortable at this point in my life.’ (Note: I’m 51.)

The answer is always “LESS”!

So less it is becoming and the lighter I feel…and the knowledge that I am free to do as I please with as little or as much as I like? Now that’s a freedom I’m willing to work for.

And…that’s MY WHY.

What is yours? It will take some thinking on your part and I promise you, knowing your why is worth the process. If you want help uncovering YOUR why, give me a call because helping people uncover their why is one of my favorite things:-).

Just something to think about…

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Financial Freedom Takes Knowing Your Why

We want this and we want that…all while knowing to be grateful for what we have. Yet, there are so many questions we spend our lives answering…

• Is it OK to want more than you have?
• Is is OK to want when you have ‘enough’ and others don’t?
• Is there a right way and a wrong way to want things?
• But shouldn’t I just accept my lot in life and be grateful for what I have?

And a whole lot more.

All the answers to these questions have to be answered by you and none other. My own take on it is that life is here. We are here. And we make too much out of what it’s supposed to be.

It somehow gets all wrapped into religion and purpose and sometimes it’s just too much for one to handle. Bottom line is that you have to decide for yourself what is OK and not OK with you and you alone and when you get that figured out, just know the answer will probably change over time.

Regardless of what you want, when you want it, where you want it, etc., the ONLY way to really get anything in life is to know WHY you want it. This why has to be so strong that you organically attract it into your life because it’s what drives the fiber of your being.

Here’s a little video I did about The Why for you to enjoy…

Do you know why?

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